Croûtons

I'd like to extend a hand to whoever the hell was drunk enough to stare wonderingly at a pile of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, parsley, maybe onions, perhaps some celery, and thought "Hey, you know what'd go great with this? Hard, crunchy bread!"

I'd like to thank that man.

Because it was probably him that sired me.

Not that I'm a big fan of salads, mind you. If given the choice, I'd much rather go for a burger, much to the dismay of my vegetarian and vegan friends. But if they're going to judge me on my eating habits, they might as well be judging me on my ethnic background! Which is still under speculation, considering I'm an Asian male who's tall, looks nothing like an Asian, and struggles with math.

But I stray. As much as I'd rather have a burger over a salad, I'm addicted to croûtons.

If they could make a giant bag that was just that, I'd flip out.